you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
