my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
