I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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