and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize