Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize