You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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