I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
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I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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