Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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