whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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