She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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