All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
