if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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