when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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