And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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