I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
vagina is talking i cant
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
