new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
