I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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