toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
youre lurking in front of me
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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