Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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