I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
