you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
being pregnant is like rehab
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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