i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
