she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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