what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
