I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
