SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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