GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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