Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
