I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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