is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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