I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
