Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So much rum. So many feels.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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