She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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