My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
