Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
