Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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