So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize