Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
