I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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