Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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