Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
vagina is talking i cant
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
