I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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