dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
