they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
