I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
