He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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