I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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