you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
