chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
