Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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