so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
