We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Found the puke drawer
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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