kristin has been a bad kristin
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you didnt know i had herpes?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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