She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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