I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
