It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
