the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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