I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
