And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
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last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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