Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize