I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
